Sixteen-year wedding-industry veteran Julian Leaver is the owner of Julian Leaver Events, a luxury wedding and events planning company based in Dallas. But for the first time in his career, he’s also a groom-to-be! Having now experienced the industry from both sides of the aisle, Julian will be walking D Weddings readers step by step through his wedding-planning process—from his delights, pain points, and decision-making factors as a client to his expertise and know-how as a seasoned professional. 

As you may know, Oprah used to publish a magazine. At the back of every issue, she wrote a one-page column called “What I Know For Sure.” In each of these short articles, Oprah shared insights on themes like joy, hardship, connection, and gratitude. And readers found inspiration in the experiences Oprah shared.

So, given that this is my last piece for D Weddings, I thought I would do the same.

Without further ado, here is what I know for sure about being a wedding planner and planning my own wedding.

Be prepared for a gut check when things get real. 

I didn’t quite realize how long the dream phase lasts during the planning process. At the beginning, and even the middle, you’re working with all of these ideas. You’re having conversations and putting numbers on paper.

Sometimes, there are hard yeses and no’s. But other times, nothing is concrete and the decisions and ideas are still swirling around.

Then, the moment comes when thoughts, ideas, and numbers become real life. You realize you have to have final conversations about the music, who’s walking whom down the aisle, and all the little details that need to be printed in the program. It’s a real gut check when you realize time is running out and you have to finalize decisions.

When that moment happens, and it will, don’t be surprised if different emotions start bubbling up. Just keep focused and remember why you’re doing all of this in the first place. And, by all means, breathe!

You can’t plan your way out of the emotion.

Speaking of emotions bubbling up—I thought I would be immune from emotions because I’m a wedding planner. I already know the structures, timelines, and how things will go. But there was an emotional aspect that came into play that I never predicted. And that may also be the case for you.

Feeling emotions is part of the planning process. At times you’ll feel excited, frustrated, thrilled, and tired. Sometimes, you’ll feel them all. Let yourself! Write or talk about them if you need to, but don’t try and plan your way out of them. We’re human, after all. Even us wedding planners.

Vendors make visions happen. 

As a wedding planner, with industry knowledge and connections with amazing professionals, I can easily say to my vendors, “Here’s my vision—make it happen,” and trust them wholeheartedly.

My fiancé, Francisco, on the other hand, prefers a clear, thought-out plan. As do most couples. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. It only becomes a problem when you don’t trust a professional to do the work they’re paid to do.

Think about it this way: Would you hire a mechanic to fix your car and then tell them how to do it? No! Instead, you’d choose the right mechanic wisely and then trust them to make it work better than before.

So, hire vendors who will take the time to learn your taste and style and understand your vision inside and out. From that place, trust them and allow them some breathing room to do their thing. Finally, have confidence that they can make your dream happen and exceed your expectations.

I don’t have superpowers. 

You might think as a wedding planner, I’d have the upper hand when it comes to things like RSVPs. But let me tell you, it doesn’t make one ounce of a difference.

I’ve been tracking down RSVPs since I sent them out, and it’s other people in the industry who haven’t responded! This just goes to show that no matter who we are on the outside, we’re all human on the inside. We all have busy lives and about a thousand things on our minds (and to-do lists).

Give your friends and family the benefit of the doubt, a gentle nudge, and remember that even Julian Leaver has to follow up with guests.

Well, friends, I hope you’ve enjoyed following my adventures in wedding planning and have learned a few things along the way.

If you’d like to continue learning more about the wedding planning process through Julian Leaver Events, head over to our website. And let us know what you have in mind for your wedding vision!